When we come to faith in Christ we may be surprised at how quickly some things begin to change. Not only our outlook but often our character seems to shift and we begin to see some of the fruits of the Spirit develop: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness…. (Galatians 5:22-23).
But then there is that last one, self-control. Why did that have to be in the list? Many sincere believers who have seen God change their character in other ways (love, joy, peace, patience…) struggle with a habit, often in the area of self-control, that they have not been able to break. Perhaps that’s you.
It could be pornography, alcohol abuse, drug addiction, overeating, laziness, extramarital sex, or anything else that is our master instead of Christ. All of these are sin. Some of these have the potential to destroy our lives and truly hurt those around us.
Then why are some of these things so hard to break? In part it is because they are a twisting or misuse of natural God-given desires. We all need rest, but at some point it becomes laziness. We all need food, but that can become gluttony. God wired us with the desire for sex, but that can go out of bounds into immorality. Likewise our natural wiring to avoid pain and seek out pleasurable experiences can cross over into substance abuse or any number of things that control us. Of course with substance abuse there are physical dependencies that may develop.
If you are struggling with a habit you know is wrong and want to break, but have not been able to, first realize that Christians don’t claim to be perfect. In fact, 1 John 1:8 says, “If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.”
The very next verse in 1 John is very important and that we covered in the main teaching of Unit 1, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) Will God’s forgiveness run out? No.
God asks us to forgive others not just seven times in one day if they keep coming to us and asking for forgiveness, but “seventy times seven.” If you’re doing the math that’s 490 times! Clearly God Himself forgives in the way He himself forgives (Ephesians 4:32).
But, how do you stop this habit?
Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. (2 Timothy 2:22)
First, if you can get away from the source of temptation, do so.
Second, seek out mature believers whom you know would love you but hold you accountable. Third, pray with and for one another. James 5:16 says,
“Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed.”
What this is saying is that you will need the help of others and particularly other mature believers. This could be informal. But, depending on what it is, you may need a support group or recovery program, such as Living Free or other Christian based ministry.
In many cases, an accountability partner of the same gender as you might be who you need. That person needs to be someone whom you trust, who will be confidential and who is a mature believer. If you don’t know of anyone already, speak to a pastor at church to begin the process of finding help.